In a bizarre press release posted on a suspiciously verified TikTok account, the JAS faction of Boko Haram has apologized for their recent deadly attack in Borno, which killed 57 villagers, claiming it was caused by “poor network coverage.
” The group’s spokesperson, Abu Wi-Fi, stated, “Our drones kept losing signal, so we accidentally raided the wrong village. We’re upgrading to 6G to ensure precision next time.”
The Nigerian government, in response, has launched “Operation Free Data,” promising free Wi-Fi hotspots across Borno to “help insurgents communicate better and maybe chill.” Local residents are skeptical, with one villager, Lawan Bukar Maigana, saying, “First, they bomb us, now they want Airtel bundles? Make it make sense.” Meanwhile, MTN and Glo are reportedly in a bidding war to sponsor the insurgents’ new 6G network, with Glo offering “unlimited night browsing for jihad.”
